[via David Horsey]
Tag Archives: student loans
June 8, 2012
Posted by: Chimp
“The above-named is hereby released into a barren job market, doomed to live as a modern-day serf, working solely to repay her insurmountable debt on the salary of a substitute teacher, a part-time yoga instructor, or, if she’s lucky, a drug dealer. Her matriculation at this university will have no impact on her life, save for the twelve phone calls a year when she is harassed to give this school even more of the money she couldn’t possibly possess.
“Her only chance at financial solvency will be if she is awarded a large settlement after being hit by a bus or other city-owned vehicle, or if she turns to armed robbery. May God have mercy on her soul.”