[via I Waste So Much Time]

Thanks to ZUPscriber Jon for reminding us how hilarious this video is.

No need to squint! Here’s the text of the letter:

Dear Incredibly Loud Neighbor Kids,

Thanks. It was awesome to wake up at 4am to the sounds of yodelling bros smashing bottles and making their girlfriends cry.

Which one of you was the one that kept yelling “bro?” I actually counted 24 “bros” in one minute. 24 bros per minute (bpm)? COME ON! It was like frat-themed house music.

You disgust me.* Apparently you lost your calendars along with your dignity, because last night was a Sunday, and only cancer-loving nazis rage deep into the night on the DAY OF OUR LORD.

Please do your neighbors a favor and obey the First Commandment of the United States Constitution and GIT A FLIPPIN JERB! If you had to get up for work on Monday morning and bag 3rd-rate consumer goods at Wal-Mart like normal stupid kids, you would not be outside at 4am shotgunning your frat lieutenant’s urine and howling about how it tastes just like Miller High Life.

Real talk, bros. I get it. You feel inadequate because of your pencilpeens and you need to rage hard to drown the sorrow of hearing “Is it in yet”? from your 2nd cousins every time you try to make incest. But do me a solid: next time you feel the urge to inject narcotics into your pimply nether regions and scream like a banshee, please do it inside with all the windows and doors closed and a pillow stuffed into your mouth.

Next time #OutdoorsSundayNightFratSoiree pops off, I will not hesitate to call the Los Angeles Police Department. I would come out there and take care of business myself, but last time I violated parole my third wife forgot to feed my feral rottweilers their amphetamines and they acted normal for months. IDIOT!

But seriously, guys. You were dicks last night. Keep it down.

*Except for the “Don’t touch my shoulder!” guy. You know who you are. The guy who yelled “Don’t touch my shoulder!” over and over and over again. I kind of like you. You remind me of the “Don’t taze me bro!” guy. His patheticness amused me, as does yours. I applaud you and your abject terror of being touched on the shoulder and your commitment ot loudly yelling about it like a broken record.

[via Reddit]

Smartest 15 year old ever.

[via tumblr]

This letter was sent to Mr. Ramon, the meteorologist, who taught young Flint and his classmates a thing or two about weather. Young Flint wanted to say thanks:

Best compliment ever: “You’re more awesome than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made out [of] bacon riding a cyborg unicorn with a lightsaber for the horn on the tip of a space shuttle closing in on Mars while ingulfed in flames.. And in case you didn’t know, that’s pretty dang sweet.” Pretty dang sweet indeed, Flint.

[via Imgur]

Her name is not actually Lunchbag. Of course it’s not…. No one’s name is actually Lunchbag.

[via betterthanlegos]

[via Imgur]

Apparently, this renter had an inspection that didn’t go so well. But instead of letting it get him down, he fought back – in true, snarky, immediate-hit-on-the-Internet style. Bravo David. Love the shark!

[via Imgur]

[Unknown source]